I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
well you can't waste a boner
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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