I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
