I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
This baby is an asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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