i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
