As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
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Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We have started to decorate penises.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
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He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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