Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
