My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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