She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
