I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
