We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
