but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
im holly from the hills drunk
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
