remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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