thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Someone signed my nipple.
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