What did we do last night that was yellow?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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