your thong is hanging out like whoa
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
