He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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