Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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