we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
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He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
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I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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