Umm I'm too high to move.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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