me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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