She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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