He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize