Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
