if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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