if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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