get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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