i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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