Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
