sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Randomize
