Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
