oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
