Dual....:-)
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
