Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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