Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
