hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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