i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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