i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
