Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
