just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
