Ambien. No doubt about it.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
