i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
