he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
