i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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