No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
