Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
