if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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