Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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