You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize