Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
