i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
someone owes me an orgasm
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
