my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
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if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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