Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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