Quick, to the slutcave!
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
