Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
