I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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