I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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