yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
