So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
