I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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