When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I supernannyed him into submission
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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