it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
