Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
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I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
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He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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