girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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