Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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