I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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