sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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