The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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