remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
she looked like the before picture.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
