we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize