Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
